I know, I know. You hate that word. For good reasons. All your life, people have insisted you need a Savior, because you're a sinner. You know in your heart that all this "worthless sinner" business is a crock of....yes, of course, you know that. And yet, if you're anything at all like me, there have been times when you have said or done things that you immediately wanted to take back. (I have often found myself wishing that life had something equivalent to MS Word's UNDO key.)
So that brings up a hard question: How does one recover from grevious mistakes? Better question: How do I feel okay about myself after I've said or done something unworthy, nay, verily, reprehensible? It doesn't happen very often in my life, thank God. But when it does, I'm the most miserable of God's children.
Oh, sure, I can tell myself, "You are accepted by God the way you are. Sin is self inflicted nonsense. Sin is error belief. Sin is missing the mark...attempting to negate a divine idea...You should not feel bad. This is a learning experience."
And just as surely as I know that all that "worthless sinner...need a Savior" stuff is not satisfying, some of the above New Thought responses are equally nugatory when I am gripped by the aftermath of a hurtful or selfish choice I have made.
Just as their are circles of faith, circles of belief, circles of love--there seem to be "circles of sin". If I am inside a circle of love or faith or belief, I want to expand it, stay inside its embrace. However, when trapped inside a circle of sin the first item on my agenda is breakout.
The Breakout Formula. I look at what I've done. I affirm that I'm better than this. I accept full responsibility for the mistake, which sometimes calls for me to acknowledge that I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway. I bless, release and forgive myself for making this non-productive choice. I remind myself that it isn't about what's evil and good, it's about what works and doesn't work.
Sometimes, I will give myself an assignment: Center on a spiritual word, playing it like a mantra in my mind. Or do something nice for someone and not tell anyone about it. (Is that penance? I've never been a Catholic, but there's something comforting in actually DOING something to make ammends.)
And then I will repeat the process as often as necessary, whenever the feelings of guilt resurface. Bless, release, forgive. Make ammends as necessary.
Sure, sure. There are people out there who are shaking their heards and murmuring, "I knew he wasn't really Unity..." But why not raid the pantry of Western spirituality as well as Eastern thought? I find no comfort in denying what I am actually feeling--i.e., guilt--rather than dealing with the challenge of missing the mark by picking up my arrow and shooting again, and again, until it hits the target, and I break out of the circle called sin.
That's a mixed metaphor, but I can live with it.
3 comments:
Those are great suggestions for "sins" against yourself, such as one of the many available vices, or sins against humanity in general or the planet. Of course, for sins against a specific person, the best approach is to repent (apologize) to that person and ask for their forgiveness directly. Britt Hume's urging Tiger Woods to become Christian and repent and ask for God's forgiveness was not only bizarre in its own right, but missed the larger point that Tiger should repent and ask for forgiveness from Ms. Woods, not God. It that type of situation, or any situation in which you sin against another person, even if God has forgiven you, if the sinned-against person hasn't forgiven you, you haven't really been forgiven.
Chuck: I agree, generally. That's why I said it's important to make ammends, if possible. However, whether the other person decides to forgive me or not, I can still experience a sense of release from guilt if I have taken adequate, responsible steps to compensate for the bad choices I have made. Obviously, the more aggregious the error, the more time it may take to move beyond any painful or destructive outcomes. As a metaphysical Christian I am certain that God has no need to "forgive" me, because God--as the One Presence/One Power which causes the Cosmos to exist--is inside the process rather than sitting externally as an avenging Judge.
Thank God for that internal early, or later, warning system we call guilt! What a great system. The Jewish notion of atonement is a good one because it forces us to name our wrong, a tough place for some of us to get to without the nudge of guilt. In 12-step venacular, we are asked to state our part in the wrong. A little self introspection can go a long way in keeping us from wronging again and is part of the forgiveness process. Ask the question, "What on earth did I think I was getting out of this particular miss step?" Who was I serving, myself or God? If self serving, which all wrongs are, then what's a better way to get that need met? And while I'm paying attention to myself, what was the trigger that led to this wrong action? With these answers, I am ready to rejoin the human race. I have awareness, understanding, and now can act with responsibility. Forgiveness from God may be a given. Forgiveness by the one I have hurt is 100 percent thier choice. Forgiving myself is a process in action which empowers me to release myself from the debt I have created through my unfortunate choice, which is a hard thing to do in honesty unless I take the time to understand why?
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